Who Is Andrew Beattie?

Hello, welcome, dear diary and thank goodness you came,

Just in case you didn’t guess from my website address, my name is Andrew Beattie and this is my first blog thingy, diary entry or whatever this actually is. In the time my website has taken to get live, let’s call it a few months for the sake of simplicity, I have started many of these, first entries, of sorts, only to delete them furiously, leaving me befuddled as to why. “Why can’t I get the fucking bastard words out onto the fucking screen” Shouted I, waiving my hands in the air, spilling earl grey everywhere and looking , and sounding, like, well, a complete tool. Sorry for the swearing. This period, let’s call it the tool period, left me wondering what the hell I was doing when in actual fact what I was doing was nothing at all. But then it came to me, suddenly it seemed and without prior notice, a light bulb moment of sorts. What I needed was a plan.

Now before I get to my plan, let us skip back a few months, no more than that is necessary for now. I had decided one morning, just prior to work, in a taxi if I remember correctly, that I would like to be a writer. Not only did I decide that I would like to be a writer, but also that I didn’t really want to do what I was doing at that time, a moment longer. And so I left, for a period of soul searching, reading, thought gathering and, well that’s just about it. I didn’t have a plan, which is why this has taken so long to leave my head, travel through my fingers and out onto my laptop, and then to this website, and isn’t it a nice website.

I have spent the time since that momentous day of reckoning, which is 3 months-ish I think, working part time, which my old boss and friend very kindly, allowed me to do at my previous company (yes, yes, the same company that I decided to leave), reading, basking in the balmy English summer weather, reading, and erm, reading and doing very little else. During this time, my website was being built but I was otherwise wandering aimlessly, doing little else and wondering why I seemingly didn’t have the required motivation to get some bloody words onto paper? “Some bloody writer I will make” I thought to myself. And then, after 3 months, or so, it came to me. I can’t remember exactly when, it may have been in the shower or more likely on the toilet, Eureka! A plan was all that I needed. A loose plan, but a plan none the less. Yes I wanted to be a writer, yes, I would have my new shiny, amazing, designer website, but where would I go with it, what would I do from here on in? And so here it is kind reader, my plan.

Andrew Beattie’s Ace and Cool loose plan of sorts, kind of, ish

Hello Me, this is your plan. Ha ha, we have a plan. Watch out world, I Andrew Beattie have a plan.

1. Write a book. This is a long term goal but a goal none the less – I have an idea in mind bit ill leave that for another day I think

2. Travel – and I don’t mean to the shops. Get a list of places you want to go to, and go there and then write about it, you shit head. No more excuses other than the fact that you are broke, which should really make your next point easier.

3. Get full time work, preferably doing something creative with people to meet, but a job that pays money will do. No Andrew, you can’t be a pirate.

4. Get out 3 nights a week, no more telly every night, ideas are what I need. Galleries, Cinema’s, Walks, lectures and similar are preferable.

5. Keep up the letters to family, friends and other people

6. Read some more. I like reading.

7. Keep website up to date, regularly Beattie, regularly.

8. Hot air balloon ride – Who hoo, always wanted to do this but terrified of heights so no idea why and so will make for a good comedy moment.

9. Meet with friends, at least once a fortnight so that you are still on the list for any lottery winning gifts and because they are your friends you handsome fool.

10. Stick to, cross off once done and add to the list.

11. No, you can’t add, buy a donkey to the list. And anyway, you don’t even want a donkey.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Write a book, what a fool, but look, this is merely a guideline of some stuff I would like to do and it’s at least a starting point. Sheesh, thanks for the support guys. I’m also aware that as this is my life, and life does have the tendency to throw the odd curveball at you, there will be surprises ahead and other stuff which I will add, and so the plan will change and develop. And what’s the worst that can happen? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people who says “ I mean, come on, you could get hit by a bus tomorrow”, I know I could get hit by a bus tomorrow despite it being statistically unlikely, do me a fucking favour, stop getting deep all the time and go and  fucking jump in front of one. What point was I trying to make? I actually have no idea. You’ll get used to me rambling, it happens, a lot, but I’m pretty sure I was trying to make a point so take from it what you will, or not, whatever, it’s your life and anyway you could get hit by a bus tomorrow. 

Anyway, that is just about enough from me for now. I am off to write a letter, have a cup of tea and read a book. My plan can wait till tomorrow but I at least have some idea of what the hell I’m doing. So fuck it, here goes nothing.

Many Thanks for reading,

With Peace and Love,

Andrew

p.s Sorry if you are any in way offended by my swearing above but this is my website and if you don’t like it you can flipping well, flip off. Better?