Who Is Andrew Beattie?

Hello, hello again and Happy New Year,

It’s been a little while since I’ve sat here, the end of November being the last I wrote, but here I am back at my desk and I feel like I’ve never been away. That is my way of apologising for not writing which in itself is me saying how disappointed I am that I’ve not been back sooner to write for my website which as it stands still isn’t live which in turn also disappoints me. You’ll be delighted to hear that the disappointment ends there as I am at present a new and renewed man, full of the vigour of life and excited about what the New Year has in store. Exciting hey?

Christmas came and went in its usual romping fashion, not stopping to ask me whether or not I’d had my fill and was ready for it to be over and although I’d had nearly a month off in total during December when the New Year started I was a little sad to wave it goodbye for another year. That being said 2010 excited me, a fresh start, many new plans and my list, that bloody list to get stuck into with the knowledge that as yet, I’d only ticked off one of its smaller aims.

During December I’d had a small mental breakdown of epic proportions which had me signed off work for a couple of weeks heavily subdued by anti-depressants and in a lull which rendered me incapable of words in either the spoken or written form. Before I knew it however Christmas was upon me and shook me heavily by the shoulders and out of the sedated world of deep and meaningful thoughts and into a world of tinsel, family, food and frivolity. After a week of family filled fun, laughter and more turkey than is ever necessary in all its festive forms I was feeling a damn sight better, the veil of deep dark thought had been lifted from me and so I promptly stopped taking the pills, cancelled my follow up appointment with the doctor and looked forward over the jagged precipice of 2009 and into the wide empty canvas like plains of 2010. Deep shit hey?

So, 2010, what does it have in store? Well it’s impossible to answer that question isn’t it? Who knows is the only possible answer. I do however know one thing for certain and that is that the following is my resolution list, a list that I’m hoping will shape my future, drive my list and lead me to a place where panic attacks are but a distant memory, the rum is plentiful, happiness and love are mine and the writing flows and flows and flows. It goes a little something like this:

1. Be happy and do the things that make me happy.

2. Say no when I mean no and yes the rest of the time.

3. Meet with family and friends more often and whenever possible.

4. Get myself in tune with what is going on in Liverpool; get on the invitation lists and go.

5. Travel.

6. Write, write and write.

7. Feel uncomfortable more and learn to like it.

8. Learn to drink or stop drinking.

9. Quit smoking.

10. Find Love.

11. Move forward.

There are some very, very spurious entries to this year’s resolution list, number 7 being the one I understand the least, but as it stands at the moment I am more confident of doing it than I have been for as long as I can remember. Being happy seems like a very real possibility and I know that all it takes is for me to just fucking go for it with the mindset that I need to take a hold and just get it, nobody else will give me it freely, why would they? With that in mind, my Dad probably bought me the most appropriate Christmas present imaginable using what appears to have been incredible foresight and vision, the one tool that will allow me to throw myself into this year with vim and vigour and come out the other side shouting “take that fuckers”, naked except for winged sandals and a flat cap and holding a portable typewriter which I am using to thrash Karma who is depicted in the form of a baby panda. I am now the proud owner of a filofax.

The filofax, 80’s Wall Street’s Blackberry and the era’s must have personal organisation fashion accessory. Before Christmas I’d never dreamed of owning one, I lived my life blissfully unaware of the sheer power of organisation and all that could be mine by simply filing away my scraps of paper in a leather bound file in which I could also store as many birthdays and addresses as I wish in an easily accessible format, with tabs. “Any fool can be organised” I would chortle and “Don’t be organised you damn square”, would be a common place remark to my friends. It would appear that I was the fool all along. Not only do I now have a new sense of perspective for the year and a list of key guidelines, I also have a place to store them. Take this week for instance, had I not written it down, how on earth would I have remembered to go to work on Monday and without the gentle reminder of my writing ‘Riga’ into every day last week, how else could I possibly of known that I might be going to Riga next month for a few days? I mean it’s no wonder I had a little breakdown in December, I had nowhere to remind me that I shouldn’t.

And so, 2010 is here. I have a plan, I have desire and I have a filofax so look out Love and Happiness, watch your back Riga, Karma and my list, Andrew Beattie is here in his winged sandals and flat cap and whilst I’m pretty sure that I still have no idea what the hell I’m doing, I’m certain 2010 is going to be a fucking cracker. Thanks for stopping by again and until next time,

Watch out for the filofax, it’ll get you.

Cheerio,

Andrew Beattie

p.s. I will almost certainly wear more than winged sandals and a flat cap; I don’t even own winged sandals for Pete’s sake. I will not however totally rule it out when the summer arrives.